Lilies
by autumn.in.mist
Summary: She’d always liked lilies. He never found out why, but he knew that she liked them more than roses, so he’d give her lilies instead. [Oneshot]


**Underneath the Underneath (Lilies)**

Kakashi sighed, looking at the white lilies at the foot of her grave.

She'd always liked lilies. He never found out why, but he knew that she liked them more than roses, so he'd give her lilies instead.

In a way, they reminded him of her.

Pretty, dainty, and innocent.

But lilies were fragile, and underneath the underneath, she was strong.

Stronger than he'd ever be, because she hadn't completely fallen apart after their Sensei's death, and he had.

Underneath the underneath, she was more than just a friend to him.

* * *

_Not meeting her eyes, he shoved a bunch of lilies at her. She looked surprised, but a small smile graced her lips._

"_Thanks, Kakashi."_

_He blushed a little - imagine that, the great Hatake, the Copy Ninja, blushing because of a **girl** - and looked away, despite the fact that he's wearing a mask, and tells himself that he does not like her, even though it's painstakingly obvious he does._

_She reached up - up, because he was so much taller than her - and gives him a kiss on the cheek._

_If possible, he turned even redder, and was grateful he had a mask on._

_She grinned at him, and invited him inside for lunch. She knew that if she, the Yondaime and Jiraiya didn't remind him he wouldn't eat lunch at all._

_She set a bowl of miso soup and a plate of boiled saury in front of him._

"_Eat. You'll starve with your schedule. What is it again - wake up at 5:30, start training at 5:40, stop training 6 hours later, read Icha Icha Paradise for one hour, rest for two hours, train again and then eat half a cup of ramen for dinner, that being the first thing you've eating all day, unless someone reminds you?"_

"_No. I eat one cup of ramen for dinner now, since Jiraiya-sama forced me to."_

_She smiled again, her eyes sparkling. _

_And Kakashi stopped denying the truth, and finally admitted to himself that he likes her quite a lot._

_The cold genius student of the Fourth was falling in love._

* * *

"Sorry for being late, but I saw this woman on the street and I- "

"LIAR!" Naruto shouted.

"What's wrong, Kakashi? You seem a little spaced out."

"There's nothing wrong with me, Sakura, I'm fine."

* * *

"_OW! Sensei, get your child to stop pulling my hair, please!"_

"_Naruto, stop pulling Kakashi's hair."_

"_Googoogaga."_

"_Hi guys."_

_The Yondaime's 5-month old child bounced up and down in Kakashi's lap, clapping._

_She'd just walked in, her cheeks a little flushed from the cold, and her hair damp from the rain._

_Even so, she still looked pretty - to Kakashi, that is._

"_Naruto, listen to oneesan. Kakashi-kun is a little protective of his hair, so please let go."_

_Naruto listened, wide eyed, and then stretched his arms out._

_She sighed, and picked the little blond ball of energy up, and bounced him on her knee, causing the baby to start laughing._

"_I swear you spoil that child to death."_

_She just shrugged, and said that Naruto was like the little sibling she never had._

_Kakashi and Konoha's Yellow Flash just look at each other and shrug._

"_You wouldn't understand. It's a girl thing."_

"_If you say so…"_

"_I'll go pick up some Korean BBQ, can you two stay here and look after Naruto."_

"_Okay."_

_2 hours later, at 9 o'clock, Konoha's Yellow Flash walked back into his house._

"_Hey guys, I'm sorry I'm late, I- "_

_The Yondaime smiled, seeing his two students asleep, her head on Kakashi's shoulder, Kakashi's arm wrapped around her, and his son sitting on the floor, playing with a stuffed nine-tailed fox (which was named Kyuubi). Naruto had obviously exhausted the two teenagers - Naruto had that effect on most people._

_He got a blanket, put it over the two sleeping students, picked up his son and walked out of the lounge room, leaving them in peace._

_He now had blackmail material._

* * *

Kakashi closed his eyes, smiling a little at the memory, earning him strange looks from his students.

When he opened them, he saw Sasuke - who had recently been hauled back to Konoha by a furious Sakura - looking at Sakura in a strange way - the way he used to look at Rin.

History was repeating itself, but at least this time, no one had died - not yet.

* * *

"_Oh god, Kakashi, he's dead, the Yondaime's dead, Sensei's dead, Kakashi, he's dead," she babbled._

_Kakashi stared at her, not believing it._

"_You're joking."_

"_No, I'm not, he's dead, he died sealing the Kyuubi into Naruto, his son, he gave his life up for the village, and now Naruto's going to be shunned, I just know he will!"_

"_No. He's not dead, he's not! He's not dead! Any moment now, we're going to wake up, and this will all have turned out to be a bad dream!"_

"_Kakashi - he's dead."_

"_No, he's going to come back any second now, he's not dead."_

_But he never did come back._

_And he left behind nothing but his son, Naruto. _

_He didn't even get to see his face completely carved into the cliff._

_And Hatake Kakashi cried for the first time in over a year._

* * *

He hadn't cried for 13 long years - at least, not the type of crying he'd done back then.

Naruto was kind of like the Yondaime - and he should be, since he was the Yondaime's son. Which was why Kakashi doesn't hate him, because Naruto was the legacy of the Yondaime, and Kakashi wanted to cling to the memories of the past for as long as he could, even though he knew living in the past could cost him the future.

He didn't doubt that Naruto'd become the Hokage, because Naruto was so much like the Yondaime that it was scary, and he has the same kind of determination it takes.

* * *

"_Where is she?"_

"_Kakashi…"_

"_Asuma, tell me. Where the hell is she?"_

"_She…"_

"_Asuma…" Kakashi's voice was a low growl._

"_She's in the hospital."_

"_Asuma quit kidding around!"_

"_Kakashi, I'm not kidding."_

"_You have to be. She can't - she just can't - she's not - "_

"_I'm sorry, Kakashi, but she's injured - dying."_

"_No - this is all just some practical joke, she's not dying, she's not!"_

"_Look, I know you liked - loved - her, but you're in denial now. She's dying."_

"_No."_

"_They found her body mutilated and bloody, in a clearing."_

"_What happened to her?" Kakashi asked, his eyes half-crazed._

"_She was tortured. For information on Konoha, but she never gave it to them. They - "_

"_What did the bastards do to her? Oh hell - they didn't ra- "_

_Asuma nodded slowly._

"_Who did it? Who?"_

"_We don't know. We know that they're Rock Ninjas, but that's all."_

"_I'm going to kill them."_

"_Kakashi - "_

"_They raped her, Asuma, and you expect me to sit around doing nothing?"_

"_At least talk to her first."_

"_I will."_

**At Konoha's Hospital**

_She looked so frail, so sickly, her brown hair straggly and the sparkle in her eyes dead. Her skin was almost white._

"_Oh god… oh god…"_

_She still managed to say hello, a quiet voice, despite the fact she was near death._

"_Don't worry about me, Kakashi."_

"_I should have been there. If I wasn't an ANBU member, I'd have been on that mission!"_

"_It's not your fault…" she said._

"_Don't die… Don't - "_

_She raised one pale hand to stop him, and then smiled softly, her eyelids fluttering shut._

"_Don't die, I- " he started._

_"Kakashi? You need to go now - " Shizune stood in the doorway, and then her eyes widened._

_"What?"_

_"She's dead."_

_"No. She's not. She's too young to die!"_

_But he knew she was dead, and there was really nothing_

_Kakashi was crying silently, and he never realised it._

_Then he noticed the flowers on her bedside table._

_Lilies._

_Wilted lilies - they were dead._

_Like her._

_Kakashi decided he was leaving ANBU._

_Two weeks later, the bodies of the Rock ninjas who'd been revealed as to have tortured her were found dead, their bodies tossed unceremoniously into a pond._

_And her name was etched in stone, and she'd remain there for the rest of forever, while he died from the inside out._

* * *

He never got to tell her he loved her. He'd been too scared of rejection.

And she'd died. It'd been his fault, really.

If you weren't away all the time, you could have stopped her from going on that mission.

But it was too late, and she had died at the age of 16, and he'd lived, and she'd be 16 forever.

"Sasuke, can I talk to you?"

He figured that even though they might have been doomed from the start, they might have had some time together.

But they didn't, because he was too scared.

He wasn't planning on letting history repeat itself.

"What?"

"Alone."

"Fine."

* * *

_Kakashi had changed since her death. After Obito's death, he had opened up a little._

_Now, he was withdrawn, cold._

_He blamed himself. _

_Maybe if he'd told her, things would never have turned out the way they had._

_Maybe if he wasn't such an emotionally retarded fuckwit, and didn't understand the meaning of love until it was too late, things would be better, and she'd be alive, and he wouldn't be here today, holding lilies for her grave._

_He left the lilies by her grave, and turned away, walking as far away as he could from her grave._

_From the trees, a silent shinobi watched, noting that Kakashi had tears running silently down his face._

_Whether he liked it or not, Kakashi finally had emotions._

* * *

"You like Sakura, don't you?"

"Wha-what? No!"

"Yes you do."

"No I don't!"

"Then explain why you stare at her all the time."

"I-I- "

"Exactly."

"I do _not_ like her."

"Prove it."

"What?"

"Prove you don't like her."

"I-I- I can't!"

"Why?"

"Because - because…"

"Because you like her."

"Exact- Wait, no I don't!"

"Don't lie Sasuke. Tell her now, before it's too late. For all you know, she could die tomorrow."

"What?"

"Look, Sasuke, trust me. You'll regret it if you don't."

"She might not even like me anymore."

"Underneath the underneath, Sasuke. She still does."

"How do you know so much about this anyways?"

Kakashi just shrugged, and his eyes clearly said that it was for him to know and everyone else to find out.

Sasuke eyed him oddly, before asking him if Sakura liked flowers.

"Get her lilies."

"Lilies? Why?"

"No reason."

"Shouldn't I get her cherry blossoms?"

"No, underneath the underneath, she probably likes lilies better, if she's anything like the girl I used to like, and she is."

"Who did you use to like?"

"Forget I said that!"

"Who did you use to like?"

"Err… Did you ever read the volume of Icha Icha Paradise that I got you?"

"Who was she?"

"Err… Lilies!"

"Kakashi…"

"Lilies! Look, lilies! For Sakura!" Kakashi said, waving a bunch of white flowers around.

"Who was she?"

Kakashi shoved the bunch of flowers at Sasuke.

"Kakashi-sensei - "

Sakura stopped dead in her tracks.

"Omigod, sorry if I'm interrupting anything, I'll just- "

"It wasn't what you think!"

Sasuke grabbed the bunch of lilies from Kakashi and, not meeting her eyes, shoved them under Sakura's nose. She looked surprised, but there was a small smile on her face.

"Thanks, Sasuke."

Sasuke blushed a little.

Kakashi watched, and grinned.

Sakura linked her arm through Sasuke's and, the lilies forgotten, they walked off.

He picked up the fallen lilies, and fingering the petals, he almost thought he could hear her voice.

_Sorry. But Rin, I really did love you._

* * *

A/N: I don't like this ending. And Sasuke and Kakashi seem so OOC…


End file.
